I remember as a child trying to get to grips with the concept of stress. I was once told that ‘some stress is good; it motivates you’, but I couldn’t reconcile myself to that assessment when I was certain it was stress making my hands inconveniently sweaty going into a piano exam. It wasn’t until much later that I realised that the desire to succeed was the factor that motivated me to prepare for the exam – while the pressure of expectations (mainly my own, but also fear of disappointing others) caused the stress.
As we grow up, things like deadlines are good motivators. They can also cause stress—if they are not managed properly.
And therein lies the distinction.
Let’s stop glorifying stress. It’s not a sign of success or the driving force behind achievement. It’s the body’s built-in warning system, alerting you that some aspect of your life is veering off course.
Ideally, we want to make choices that minimise our stress levels.
Sometimes, factors outside our control cause stress: someone you depend on doesn’t fulfil their obligation, or extreme weather forces a change of plan. Maybe those back-up plans can come into play to mitigate the impact, but not always.
However, some stress is categorically avoidable. The old adage ‘fail to prepare – prepare to fail’ couldn’t be truer, and I would add that if you proceed along those lines, you might as well prepare to be stressed while you’re at it.
Instead, prepare to succeed, plan to mitigate, and be kind to yourself. By this, I mean:
Allow yourself plenty of time to not just complete tasks, but to do things well, so that you can be proud and confident in your work.
Be realistic about how much you can take on. It’s difficult, especially as an entrepreneur, but try not to overstretch yourself; know your capacity and, above all, don’t sell what you will struggle to deliver.
Don’t take on other people’s failures; if someone else has dropped the ball and are looking for a scapegoat, don’t let them transfer their stress to you. You can try to help them out, of course, but don’t forget that this is ultimately their burden.
Ask for help if you need it! This can take so many forms: asking for advice, outsourcing work, or getting emotional support from a therapist or counsellor. Looking back, A LOT of my stress in life has been exacerbated by my reluctance to ask for help or even just clarification. I would be afraid that I’d be viewed as high-maintenance or incompetent or that I’d be a ‘bother’ to someone who was busy. I would struggle along on my own, trying to find my own solutions, when actually in many situations a simple conversation would have given me what I needed to move forward!
April is Stress Awareness Month, and awareness is exactly what we need when it comes to stress; let’s learn to recognise it, mitigate it, and ask for help with it.
And that all starts by talking about it. Let me know in the comments: what causes you stress?